Houston's speakeasy scene is having a moment.

“Hidden” bars are everywhere: temporary pop-ups, tucked-away dance floors behind restaurant kitchens, tiki-themed hideaways, upstairs lounges, and establishments that masquerade as something else entirely. Take Captain Foxheart Bad News Bars: technically not a speakeasy, but good luck finding their info outside or on the door because you’ll actually only see a lawyer's nameplate.

My beef isn’t with speakeasies themselves, but how they're marketed. Influencers love throwing around "hidden" and "secret" while simultaneously posting step-by-step tutorials on how to find them. This feels like an assault on the English language. It's not secret if it's being broadcast to thousands of followers. True speakeasies (to me) are the ones you don't know about, likely members-only establishments that actually maintain their mystique.

In reality, most modern "speakeasies" are just upscale lounges with theatrical or non-assuming entrances serving pricey cocktails. Which raises my question: can a speakeasy be a dive bar?

The Road to Nowhere, tucked behind The Toasted Coconut's hostess stand, leans into the tiki aesthetic without losing its sense of humor. Step inside and your eyes feast on an eclectic collection: a pink elephant cocktail vessel (yes, it's on the menu), a Filipino barrel man figurine (don't Google it), a vinyl record player and collection tucked in the corner, world maps adorning walls, and globes scattered on shelves.

When Wu-Tang vs. The Beatles' "Enter The Magical Mystery Chambers" flows through the speakers, it's impossible not to feel cool.

@onthehousehtx

The Road to Nowhere is a “new” elegant tiki-inspired speakeasy located inside The Toasted Coconut in Montrose. Perfect for date night, th... See more

Their drink menu reads like a thoughtfully crafted zine. The front cover is styled as a passport, each page revealing careful consideration. This is the brainchild of Tiffany Kirk, Head Bartender who also worked at The Toasted Coconut. Tiffany designed and curated everything: the drinks and their names, the illustrations (with design input), and what I can only describe as literature accompanying each cocktail. It's actually worth reading.

I'm typically critical of places that prioritize aesthetic over substance, creating cognitive dissonance when stunning visuals can't match the quality of what's served. (Looking at you Sylvie, though props for improving). Don't get me started on unnecessary smoke or fire theatrics.

The Road to Nowhere exercises restraint, delivering touches of magic without overdoing it. Think elevated Jungle Cruise vibes, if you will.   

We loved everything we ordered, but my favorite was the pink “Elephant in the Tiki Room,” complete with a tiny bucket of candied peanuts dangling from the trunk. Silly, yet sophisticated. Adventurous, yet familiar. The Road to Nowhere somehow captures that unique feeling of fun and mystery you only experience while traveling. I could have been anywhere in the world, but some paths do indeed lead to The Road to Nowhere.

Walk-ins only and, in the immortal words of Anthony Bourdain, no reservations.

This week’s drinks are on us! That means two readers will win a $25 gift card to The Toasted Coconut. All you have to do is open today’s issue and you’ll be entered to win.

Winners will be randomly selected and emailed tomorrow morning.

Want to sponsor a future issue and treat readers to a local coffee spot on you? Hit reply.

LATELY IN HOUSTON

Pistachio x Houston fire station collab. Firefighters at a north Houston fire station recently had a surprise visit from a green and yellow parrot named Pistachio who wandered into the station lost. Thankfully, the Spanish-speaking parrot was reunited with its owner!

Bodies on bodies. Human cadavers are now on full display with Body Worlds 101: The Core of Life at The House Health Museum. If you’ve already stopped by the Death by Natural Causes at HMNS (also recommend), this might be a good pairing to see us in action (inaction) to investigate both the wonders and ailings of the human body.

Meow Wolf does the time warp, too! Cult classic “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” always has the best movie screenings but Meow Wolf Houston is bringing it up a notch by hosting an event next month at their location with some burlesque and drag performers. Sign us up!

WEEKEND EVENTS

All Weekend

• Five-course cocktail tasting at Artechouse

• Last chance for Houston Restaurant Weeks

Thursday, 8/28

7:30pm, Class | Seoulside Wings is taking over Jethro’s for a pop-up! “Pull up for wings, cocktails, and late-night energy you don’t want to miss! ” Free.

Friday, 8/29

6:30pm-9:30pm, Live Music | Catch Miguel De La Barca at The Kennedy. RSVP.

8pm, Live Theatre | H-E-B presents Broadway on The Hill at Miller Outdoor Theatre. “Enjoy an evening under the stars singing along to some of your favorite Broadway hits from shows such as Phantom of the Opera, Frozen, Funny Girl, and more!”

8pm-late, Live Music | Echoes presents Prince vs Michael, live music by ARUBA. Free.

Saturday, 8/30

10am-6pm, Market | Shop Houston Toy Museum’s Garage Sale! “Over the last few years, our collection has grown so much thanks to donations and our love of the hunt! That means it's time to find new homes for the items that we no longer have space for.” Shop for free downstairs or pay $5 admission to see the entire sale.

11am-3pm, Market | @death2streamingdvdswap is celebrating the end of summer with a DVD swap at Coffee House at West End. “Bring your DVDs in crates and cardboard boxes, set up, and trade with some new friends.” Free.

12pm-5pm, Market | Little Trinket Club presents The Great Trinket Pop-Up at Sharetea Willowbrook. “Grab tasty boba, Snoopy themed treats, and the cutest trinkets! Also participate in a Snoopy Bingo and Smiski Bingo.” Free.

1pm-5pm, Culture | Watch the 19th Annual Texas Classic Sumo Tournament. “Prepare for high-energy performances that promise to awe and educate as you witness the world of sumo up close and experience the excitement of competitive matches featuring some of the best athletes in the sport.” Tix come with two complimentary drinks. $30.

1pm-4pm, Crafts | Experiment with Layering Color and Shape at Contemporary Arts Museum Houston. “Inspired by artist Tomashi Jackson’s layering of color and shape to inform storytelling in the exhibition Tomashi Jackson: Across the Universe, pile decorative paper and found ephemera to create a one-of-a-kind collage.” Free.

4pm, Crafts | Tap into Candles & Cocktails at Lyric Market. “Join Twilight Candle Company and Lyric Market for Candles & Cocktails, an elevated, interactive candle-making experience that’s all about scent, sophistication, and connection.” $54.

5pm-10pm, Block Party | Fam Jam is back for a special Labor Day weekend edition! $23+.

6:30pm, Culture | Don’t miss When The Prison Doors Are Opened at Sanman Studios as the final event of the 2025 Black August series. “This commemoration will feature a Black August book swap, community excerpt reading from Black August texts, original poetry, live music (keep a lookout for the announcement coming soon!!), DJ, art, and more!”

Sunday, 8/31

11:30am-1:30pm, Workshop | The Plant Project and Momma Loves Jazz presents Jazz & Journaling in the Jungle. “Slow down, listen inward, and let jazz guide your storytelling, reflection, and creative expression among lush greens and grounded community.” $25. Sold Out.

12:30pm, Film | Don’t miss Cat Video Fest 2025 at River Oaks Theatre. “CatVideoFest is a joyous communal experience, only available in theaters, and raises money for cats in need through partnerships with local cat charities, animal welfare organizations, and shelters to best serve cats in the area.” $14.

5pm, Dinner | Enjoy The Marigold Club’s happy hour (our favorite in town) from 5-6pm then enjoy fried chicken evening paired with half off bubbles. “Crunch into our double-fried chicken during Fried Chicken Sundays every week at The Marigold Club. Paired with velvety whipped potatoes, fresh minted peas, and aged cheddar scones and a rich foie gras sauce, this is a Sunday night, you can't miss.”

ON THE HOU(S)E Concierge

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